This interview was conducted through e-mail and the questions were received back on the 10th of June 2000.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a documentary....and?
Gerard gets to put on a show full of dodgy accents and racial stereotypes and get reviews that call it "Clever".
How did you feel when you found out you were one of the Moosehead Award recipients?
Extremely honoured, because the Moosehead Awards are an institution for which I have always had an immense respect. Extremely surprised, because I didn't think they'd go for the idea. And a bit annoyed, because I was only half-hearted in my commitment to the idea and now they'd called my bluff and I was going to have to actually do it.
If you were going on a safari trip in Africa, what would you take with you?
Wide-angle and telephoto lenses, several phrasebooks and major travel insurance.
What would you say is a stereotypical comedian?
One who prides him/herself on how funny, original and clever he/she is, when analysis reveals that the structures are as old as time itself and every line as predictable as the last.
Do you fit that description?
I cite myself as Exhibit A.
What was the happiest moment in your life?
January 1999. Standing in pitch black darkness deep in the bowels of the Crac des Chevaliers (a crusader castle in Syria), dirty, cold, and being dripped on continuously. I had been to Syria and the Crac once before, and only after my return home heard about an old secret entrance to the castle that the tourists never find. I swore to return one day and find it. So, having finally returned and found the secret entrance, I spent a few moments euphorically wondering just when I decided to be an Arabic-speaking, castle-hopping stand-up comedian. It was a very surreal moment. I shared it with a puzzled frog.
Why did you choose to get into comedy?
I was dared. My brother Mick and I had always tried lines on each other, and I had started writing them down. One day at uni I opened my big mouth and told this guy that I had always thought of trying comedy. He was organising a campus comedy night and dared me to do 5 up top. I figured I had nothing to lose. The rest is history. (Not the type of history that anyone writes books about though.)
What are your opinions of the Melbourne crowd?
Fairly well comedy-educated, quick to show appreciation, demanding, but reasonably forgiving on a bad night. I like them.
Who are your favourite comedians?
I hate this question because I always forget some. Internationally, Steven Wright, Emo Philips, and Ardal O'Hanlon spring to mind, and I loved the Arctic Boosh boys when they were here for the MICF. Locally, Bob Franklin, Tony Martin, Dave O'Neil, and Duff.
How often do you get fan mail?
Never in the post, which is probably good. But once in a blue moon someone says something nice on a bulletin board, eg the Planet, Comic Attitude or the Breakfasters fan site (the breakfast show on 3RRR on which I have a segment). Recently I have been getting hate messages on some of these sites. I think you've made it when you're big enough for someone to hate.
What does your family think of you doing comedy?
Mun and Dad have been enormously supportive, and I think quite bemused by how well it has gone. Mum can't bring herself to come to see me. My brothers are quietly proud, and just lately have become very good at crashing parties under my name and mixing it with B-grade celebrities.
Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Yes. WOULD YOU ALL STOP WATCHING CHEAP CRAPPY CLIP SHOWS ON TV? If the ratings go down, then the networks might start putting some good money back into TV comedy. (That's my current bugbear.)
© Dominica Malcolm/Malcolm Media 1999-2009, ComedyDownUnder.com
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