This interview is different in that it is the first of its kind to have been asked in an Internet chatroom. This interview was held on the 13th of September 2000.
Dom: What are your fantasies?
Nic: I'd like a lifeline Eddie? Fantasies... a mad sex marathon in a room full of fetta cheese
Dom: fantastic. So where would you expect to live this fantasy?
Nic: In the ball pit at the Fun Factory (childrens entertainment place)
Nic: either that or the mental asylum padded room
Dom: sounds fun. Any chance I can join in?
Nic: Depends on who its with and how much you pay me.
Dom: damn, all I have is twenty cents and a brick, will that do?
Nic: no
Dom: oh well. So how did you go in Green Faces?
Nic: Everyone laughed at me!
Dom: at you? Because you were funny or because you were a dickhead?
Nic: I was standing on stage wearing a pair of large fake breasts - they were laughing at me
Dom: I see. Sounds...interesting. Did you meet any nice people?
Nic: I've met a great many nice people - They didn't have the pleasure of meeting me but are having a good time trying to take out a restraining order
Dom: okay then...so have you done anything else lately worth mentioning?
Nic: I went to Fyshwick and got a new pair of handcuffs and a whip - oh you mean comedy? Only a few more open mic nights
Dom: hmm. I hear you're planning on going to Melbourne comedy festival next year, if people see you, what should they expect?
Nic: Breasts - beastiality - insanity - bondage and of course... children
Nic: oh you mean comedy... Umm.. you'll have to wait and see
Dom: oh dear...I was just trying to think of another question. Okay, why would you like to be seen on Good News Week before me?
Nic: Because im Petty
Dom: and I'm not?
Nic: Petty... not pretty
Dom: like I said, and I'm not?
Nic: Is that in dispute here?
Dom: nevermind, I had misread the reply firstly anyway. So do you expect to be a guest anytime soon?
Nic: By the time i get to that level the show will probably be gone anyway. I've never seriously thought i had a chance.
Dom: I see. Well, practice makes perfect they say, what do you say?
Nic: be it sex or comedy - solo (or group) action becomes better the more you do it
Dom: wise words there. Okay, I guess it's probably time to finish this up, are there any other words you'd like to say?
Nic: yes...
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